Cannibal Terror (1980)

Ah, the wondrous mysteries of late 70's/early 80's Euro-exploitation cinema… With almost a 100% positive certainty, the script of this film was improvised along whilst shooting. Judging by the tone and cheerful atmosphere of the opening sequences, it doesn't even look like the creators (Alain Deruelle and Julio Tabernero) ever intended to make a movie about cannibals, but maybe the producers forced them in order to quickly cash in on the gigantic success of contemporary horror-hits like "Cannibal Holocaust" and "Cannibal Ferox". As you probably know, everything was possible in the exploitation industry, even hiring the notorious smut filmmaker Jess Franco to shoot some additional footage. The film opens with a rhythmic and jolly carnival song, introduces several comical characters and a potentially interesting (but poorly elaborated) kidnapping/ransom plot. The cannibal tribe and obligatory grossness only kicks in after about 40 minutes and comes across as totally ridiculous. Three amateur thugs, one voluptuous woman and two guys, randomly decide to abduct the daughter of a wealthy businessman and demand a ransom. When one of their accomplices gets involved in a banal car accident, they flee towards the jungle (I think the South American) and seek shelter in the hut of a friend. Nearby there's a tribe of primitive cannibals, but they appear to remain politely within their perimeters. Only when one of the thugs rapes the lady of the house, her husband almost literally feeds them to the cannibals. Meanwhile, the parents of the kidnapped girl have also arrived in the jungle (don't ask me how, though), but they're good people and hence don't get eaten. Needless to say "Cannibal Terror" is an incredibly bad film and I honestly can't name one good element, apart maybe from the jolly theme song. Sure, there's a bit of nasty gore, but there's absolutely no prior tension building and the actual munching goes on for far too long. You know you're in trouble when even the gory bits in a movie are dull. The acting performances are atrocious. The lines of the little girl are practically inaudible and I'm pretty sure an adult woman imitating the voice of a child spoke them. The "jungle" setting is quite hilarious, as the film is clearly shot in someone's home garden and the "natives" are plain white day-players. Several of them even have sideburns and sophisticated haircuts. Oh dear…